Lately, I haven’t been myself. I’ve been extremely moody and I go from being the happiest to the angriest person in .5 seconds. My mood swings have been out of control. My dad has never really been a “father” to me and I shut him out of my life almost a year ago because I was tired of the lousy excuses and him not being there for me. He has since then only contacted me once. I’m not too happy about that because he completely forgot about me on my birthday, christmas, etc. How do you love someone that you don’t even know? That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. How do you claim to love someone so much but you have hurt them their whole life? You don’t even know their favorite color, what music they like, how they’re doing on a daily basis, nothing… I obviously don’t have the answer. I have so much hurt built up inside of me from past experiences in my life and honestly, I’m a work in progress. I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I want to do. But I do know who I want to be and honestly that’s what matters to me. I have been so focused on trying to fill voids in my life and have forgotten what’s important… The life I am living now and the life I want to live. My heart has been broken many, many times and I have been left out in the cold time after time. It’s time to make a change. Erase bad memories and those experiences that are holding me back from becoming the person I want to be. I want to focus on loving myself for who I am today and bettering myself for tomorrow. I have a lot of learning to do and that’s what life is about. I need to learn how to turn the tragedies in my life into something more, something that makes me strong. Not just for myself, but my future wife and future children. I need to learn to let go and I need to do it fast. I AM STRONG, I AM BEAUTIFUL, and I can overcome all obstacles and be who I desire; nothing can stop me.